False Light

It seems strange that something like Your light…
would be so elusive.
For even the darkest night
becomes like day at Your arrival.

Yet it seems that each time we believe Your light has come --
It lasts only long enough for us to see what we lack and need.

Is this light a false light?
Is this light from You?

Why would You shine Your light upon us
only to take it away as our souls are reacquainted with peace!

Is that what is happening?
Is this what I’m to understand is “life to the fullest?”

I understand that I am not the light.
I understand that I cannot create nor sustain light.
I do not speak as one competing for a place…
I only cry out as one who confesses a need for illumination…
…illumination that only YOU can provide!

Are these flashes to be considered a respite?
If so, then why do they take us deeper into darkness upon their decay?

If these flashes are but a temporary remission,
they seem to only worsen the return of the shadows.

Where is the Light that shines so brightly that no sun is needed?
Where is the Light set on a hill that cannot be hidden by a bushel?
Where is the Light that is to guide my feet and show me the path of hope?

You said that if we asked…You would give.
That if we sought…You would be found.
That if we knocked…
You would turn the porch light on!

Father…its as if all joy has been snuffed out…
…again.

How much longer would You have us endure the darkness?
Our eyes have grown accustomed…
I think we call it home.

But I’ve seen the light!
I have!

And memory of it alone is almost enough to continue…almost.
Memory of it alone is enough to hope.

So, Bright and Morning Star, shine on us.

Make Your path so shine that we cannot help but follow.

If we have made darkness our home…evict us…
…and lead us in the way everlasting…in light.

Amen.